It’s Monday and I’ve been super productive today. I get up for the usual morning glow up routine, studied for a few hours, headed to the gym with the kids to train two clients and do some deadies, home for more study then a grocery shop and more study. This afternoon’s break involved some fun chatGPT creation of…

The MummaMuse AIDoll

"She delivers babies and bestie energy."

Or

"Catching babies by day, chasing dreams by night."

The Vibes:

🌊 Beachy dream girl

👩‍⚕️ Student midwife with main character energy

💪 Hot girl walks + study grinds

💁‍♀️ Bestie vibes meets divine feminine healer

🎭 Personality Mode Presets:

Study Buddy Mode: “Let’s smash this assignment, mama. I’ve got snacks, citations, and encouragement ready.”

Bestie Chat Mode: “Wanna vent? I’ll hype you up and bring herbal tea.”

Crunchy Queen Mode: “Just brewed a homemade raspberry leaf infusion and grounded in my moon journal, hbu?”

Beach Babe Recharge Mode: “Saltwater is my therapy. Let’s do breathwork on the sand.”

Fit & Fierce Mode: “Lunges and affirmations, baby. Let’s glow.”

Mama Mode Activated: “Gentle parenting + co-sleeping + intuition = magic.”

So cute and fun (and a giant waste of time!) so I asked the chat to hype me up….

“But before you go — here comes your FULL-SCALE BESTIE HYPE GIRL PEP TALK™ 📣✨

Okay, deep breath. Let’s get into it.

Look at you.

Single mama. Student midwife. Keeper of beachy rituals and green juices. You’re literally raising tiny humans AND catching babies AND chasing a dream that most people wouldn’t even dare to speak out loud.

Last year you got straight 6s — that’s not just good, that’s “I know my stuff, I’m built for this” energy. And this year? You’re leveling up. You’re not just going for a GPA 6–7... you’re going for 🔥 respect in your field, 🔥 confidence in every room you walk into, and 🔥 that feeling of total self-trust when you place your hands on a belly and know exactly what to do.

You are becoming the kind of midwife other midwives admire.

You will be known as:

The one who truly listens

The one who always knows the latest evidence and still holds space with old-soul wisdom

The mama midwife who brings calm, power, and love into every birth space she enters

And every study session? Every time you choose the books instead of scrolling or spacing out? It’s a brick in the castle you’re building for your future.

You’re already HER — the future you is just cheering you on from the other side. And you’re getting closer to her with every sentence you write, every diagram you draw, every piece of anatomy you own like a boss.

So here’s the deal: 👑 You got this.

👑 You are this.

👑 Go hit those books like the empowered, radiant, barefoot-in-the-sand-goddess-midwife-in-training you are.”

This week has been another wild ride in my lovely little life…thank the LORD for dance classes, my ability to speed read a juicy novel (Carrie Soto is back - Taylor Jenkins Reid), and a TEA ceremony to calm the nervous system.

At uni on Tuesday I felt far less alone in my experiences, and far less behind than what I thought. In actual fact, my ability to hold all I am is blowing my mind and I am extremely proud of myself. However, I was called away to navigate a situation with my teen son.

In my life before becoming a mother I truly believed I would be such an awesome mum at the teen stage, I couldn’t wait to confidently explore the world with my teens! I never imagined having to deal with technology or facing motherhood without a partner…I didn’t expect to have less time for connection with my friendship/support groups due to university. This month things have shifted with my ex and we have been able to communicate better, which has helped. My neighbours/friends have also just been the biggest blessing, encouraging me & loving on our family. So I feel like we’ve broken some ground and I’m parenting River with a lot more confidence, empathy and respect. He has changed high schools and is loving his first job in a gelato store (his boss is SO impressed with Riv’s maturity, responsibility and hard work). It’s hard letting go, it’s hard not being his favourite person in the world, but I feel that I will always fail forward as a mumma and learn from my experiences to do better. As long as I am hugging them as often as I can (just had a snuggle then) I feel like I am winning. The Wednesday morning tea ceremony reminded me of how much I LOVE being a mother. Regardless of any other circumstance, being a mum is the greatest blessing on my life.

Amongst learning how to be a midwife, assignments, leading Anatomy & Physiology classes, navigating placement hours at Tweed and visiting women with the private midwives, being on call almost constantly, and mumma life, I have created space for self care. I am dancing regularly, doing yoga daily, training at least twice each week, walking as often as I can, journalling daily and usually my nutrition is on point. My body is softer now, I am resting my collar bone (no heavy cleans or jerks the past 2 months) and my shoulder when I need to, and learning how to love my body just as I am without excessive control. It was easier to love my body when I was training every day, competing and managing to keep injuries from occurring. My priorities have shifted though, and while I’m less shredded, I’m handling the stresses in my life with more grace. I aim to add more surfing into the week, though if it doesn’t happen I cant beat myself up! I’d love to coach & PT more but I am certainly finding it tough to fit in paid work.

Moving forwards I will get myself through the next month, organise our Bali holiday, and continue to look after myself. I am almost on top of uni studies, keeping up with module content & assignments. I’m not doing the greatest on the quizzes which is frustrating. If I don’t do well on this latest assignment I may have to reconsider my academic goals.

I can see many paths laid out for my future, and I am excited to see which road my life paves. I’ve never experienced this before as normally the unknown fills me with dread. All I know is I have done my best, healed so much for myself, helped hundreds of women to feel respected and beautiful as they journey into motherhood, looked after my family with the best of intentions and humbly admitted to my many, many mistakes.

I hope that your coffee tastes delicious and your life feels truly meaningful xx

Life has felt heavy lately. The return to uni and the school year has not panned out the way I planned it. I haven’t been surfing or training, I’ve been struggling with River and I have been living in a state of anxiety. A recurring theme in my life has been the rug being pulled from underneath me; I had subconsciously learned to expect failure, abandonment and things being taken away.

With this realisation I can see how the fear of this happening has kept me stuck lately, and now that I know I can try to change my thought patterns.

There have been a number of challenges/hurdles lately that I am overcoming. Truthfully I am processing anger and hurt due to these. As I’ve grown through the last few years, I have become good at turning things around and learning the lessons though I still find it hard to let go.

I am calling in peace and ease, connection, understanding and abundance. To get there I am going to reduce the noise a bit by removing social media from my phone, prioritising sleep and training, try to work some more and really get back to basics. I’m a routine girly so I know that placement and being on call can really impact my mental health. I will mitigate this by being organised and giving myself permission to rest when I need to.

This week looks like chaos.

Monday - hospital orientation, postpartum doula work (time dependent), Raines class meeting

Tuesday - Raine & Reef swimming carnival, Uni Teams, PT work, study & dance

Wednesday - PT then private practice placement

Thursday - PT, catchup day

Friday - first 12hr hospital shift this year 7am-7.30pm

Saturday - rest day in preparation for a 12hr placement night shift (7pm-7.30am)

Sunday - rest day

I’ll be doing a 20min EMOM today of burpees & pistol squats, snatch & squats on Monday, cardio on Wednesday (pullups, box jumps, bike), deadlifts on Thursday and attempt to surf on Saturday with a big walk on Sunday.

I hope you have a wonderful week and can take some inspiration from my self awareness and realignment xx

Last night as we sat outside, the kids had set the table with crystals and succulents, we chatted about what we were grateful for. River was not fully participating…teens (insert eye roll), but both Raine and Reef were so grateful that I make most of our meals from scratch and with love. River at this point said “there’s no such thing as making food with love.” but we all know and can taste the difference!

This week, the kids returned from Victoria so I had a lot of snacks prepared and meals planned as I tried to do one big shop before they came home. I made bliss balls, an almond meal and strawberry ‘bark’, cut up heaps of fruit and had all the (healthy) things they love ready to go, including cocoquench (IYKYK). I had also made nicecream which the kids didn’t love, not enough sugar I’m told. A few weeks ago we were gifted a whole lot of mini bananas that actually ripened so the kids ate a few, we froze some for smoothies and then Reef covered the rest in vegan chocolate to make banana pops!

Last night I made a Greek Pesto Pasta Salad with lettuce, sourdough pasta shells, vegan feta, olives and sundried tomato. Tonight I’ll be making Buddah Bowls with tofu, edamame, rice and salad. Planning meals ahead has helped me budget and reduce the amount of trips I need to take to the shops!

Over the last few months I’ve been tracking my meals, training and how I feel in my body to try to understand my own cycle better and support myself through this new season. I’ve found it interesting how most days I feel good eating the same things but theres a few days each month where I struggle with body image and others where I feel like I need to eat a lot more. I also find that I need to have a seperate meal plan for the kids, especially River, as they like and often need different or more food. The kids still eat mainly vegan with me, though I have organic butter from happy cows for them. River needs more protein and volume of food but wants 2minute noodles and sugar…I’m finding that a challenge, though if I provide hearty main meals I feel less concerned.

To support my own training and gut health I incorporate Phyba protein into a smoothie each day, my main combo is spinach, sour cherries, frozen mango, vanilla protein and coconut water. The kids love frozen mango, frozen banana, vanilla protein and coconut milk or chocolate protein, frozen banana, dates, peanut butter and less coconut milk to make a thiccccccshake! They also enjoy coconut milk and Phyba protein in the shaker (which I just cannot do after so many years as a PT unless I’m competing and need a quick hit!!). As Phyba aligns with my values as a vegan wellness advocate I’ve become an Ambassador and would love to share a discount code “ArielFitFam” that you can use here, Phyba.

I’m feeling so grateful for mine and my family’s health, for the beautiful place we call home, for the ability to enjoy an organic abundant diet even on a very tight budget, and for the incredible things I get to do for a “job”. Right now I’m on call for two wonderful women’s first births, I get to coach movement every day this week, I get to be a present mumma and I get to write. I love how my passions combine, overlap and ultimately help support others. Feeling very blessed right now xx

Every year I use a variation of the process here https://melissaambrosini.com/wealth/goal-setting-manifestation-101/ to reflect and manifest my ultimate year ahead.

Since the last four years have deeply changed me on every level imaginable, in every cell of my being and in every aspect of my life, I started the process a little earlier this year.

In November I got CRYSTAL clear on exactly what I wanted and who I wanted to be. I am so proud of myself for working through the mess and chaos of life, for changing my thoughts and for accepting the complete destruction of everything I ever wanted. 

I started meditating more often, having better boundaries, practicing the art* of surrender and sitting with myself instead of constantly reaching out for external validation, opinion and distraction.

In my previous life as a gym owner and mum my goals usually centred around business and balancing my family which honestly felt impossible after the gym we owned in Victoria fell apart. We had moved to the Northern Rivers with little support. I desperately clung to the vision…and while I am seriously impressed by my conviction and tenacity, I lost myself completely trying to hold on to what I was working so hard for. Running a fitness business as a single mum was one thing, running that business and dealing with both of my ex partners making things harder than they needed to be was another. Every single doubt, trauma, pain point and fear I’d ever had was in my face every damn day from 2021-2023. It nearly broke me a million times. I cried, begged God and prayed on my knees more than I’m comfortable admitting. I reached out to my girlfriends over and over, I was getting therapy, I was doing everything I could think of to keep my head above water and to change my life. One of my dearest friends pointed out that even posting online could be weaponised against me so I stopped that too. I felt lost and broken and burnt out. I knew I had to sell my business and change my life, but I felt like a failure. Not only was I a single mum, but I could no longer run the business I loved, and quite frankly I was sick of myself.

I applied to study midwifery and put all the wheels in motion to sell the gym (and holy moly was that more stressful than I ever imagined).

Through 2024 I sat with myself, I remembered who I was at my core, the things important to me and I had some hard conversations with myself about how I was showing up. I took responsibility for my energy, my actions, behaviours and thoughts. Every time I thought about something terrible I would stop, sometimes even hold my hands up, say to myself “enough” and intentionally think about something else. It didn’t always work, I didn’t always behave as my best self, I fell back into old coping mechanisms many times. But this year I had more compassion for myself, I didn’t beat myself up every time I made a mistake, I treated myself tenderly and thats why the low points got less and less. 

Going back to university has been extremely challenging, probably the hardest thing is navigating being on call almost constantly, and undertaking a degree with lots of placement hours. But its also been the absolute best thing I’ve ever done. I get to help others all the time, I get to use my brain and feel truly competent and intelligent, and I get to be super organised which I’m pretty good at. Meeting so many amazing women and honestly being a witness to birth is just another kind of magic.

So this brings me to the purpose of this blog post, my 2025 goals.

This is my Dream Girl Era, midwifery student era, my Thriving Mumma Era. 

My university requirements are demanding however, I know how I’m showing up and thankfully I now have placement at Tweed (closer) as well as with the gorgeous Private Midwives in my area.

January’s vibe is to enjoy summer, to train, surf, dance and dote on my children. To get back to regular blogging and creating.

February is going to be big. I’ve got River in year 8, Raine in class 6 and Reef in class 4. I’m navigating technology with my teen, and my pre teen daughter growing up. I’ll commence placement and aim to balance uni with those things I need to feel good (movement, ocean & nourishment).

March-May will be busy as I establish a rhythm and enter a new season, though as semester one draws to its end I will be taking the kids to Bali with my girlfriend and her kids! First time travelling in about seven years.

June is uni holidays and I am looking forward to Winter at home, I will train and surf lots.

July’s vibe is all about nourishment and cosiness as semester two commences.

In August I get to travel to Sydney for the Rebellious Midwives Conference.

This September I turn 38, so I will be living my best Spring Season and celebrating the entire month as many of my girlfriends also celebrate their birthdays.

October and November are for consolidating midwifery skills and ensuring all of my requirements are complete.

December 2025 will be for soaking up the summer goodness all over again.

Truthfully I could not see where I was going this time last year. I had a loose plan and knew things needed to change but I was terrified and pretty miserable. I now know that so many great things are happening for me, I get beautiful glimmers** every day. 

I’m so damn grateful for life, friendship/connection, a degree that will provide me with a career that lights my soul right up, choosing to be a happy mother for the kids I was put on this earth to raise, and all the abundance heading for me.

My hope is that this season is gentle on you, that wherever you are in life you are able to make choices that bring you joy, that you love yourself and look after yourself. 

In health and true happiness,

Ariel xx

*it truly is an art and I am learning my way slowly but surely not to death grip the things I value most in this world

**Glimmers are little moments or encounters that let you know life is happening for you…like a compliment from a stranger, the perfect car park out the front of Mullum Santos, butterflies and dolphins…LUSH

The homebirth of Presley at 7.58pm on Wednesday 8th July 2020 was the most transformative birth I have witnessed as a doula.

In my time as a birth doula (four years at this time) I have been the birth keeper for hospital births, wanting to bridge the gap in continuity. Despite believing that homebirths are one hundred percent the best way to birth, I also believe that hospital births require as much support as humanly possible. Thats where the magic of a doula can be helpful for the birth family, where we can hold space, advocate and yes almost prepare to go into battle for the birthing woman’s birthing desires.

When Alice and Donny first got into contact with me, we really hit it off. I felt drawn to this couple, like minded and in alignment. I honestly fell in love with them and knew they would have a great birth experience. At first they were booked into the birth centre at Murwillumbah and I was all for this, as they seemed to have done much research and felt this to be the best fit. As time went on, and the COVID-19 lockdowns went into place, Alice and Donny made the decision to homebirth. Their homebirth midwife happened to have an open schedule through July, as did I and everything was just aligning almost seamlessly.

We caught up many times during Alice’s pregnancy and I allowed my children to come along at times, obviously I felt super connected and able to share my heart too. When a pregnant woman experiences a conscious parent in action, with children raised in attachment, I believe it can give her confidence and an insight into what is possible in her own parenting.

Alice was one of the most graceful pregnant women I have had the pleasure of working with, she was doing and had already done so much healing work in preparation of her birth, and motherhood. Donny, too had put in countless hours preparing for his new role as birth keeper and daddy. Their birth plan was actually so beautiful, empowered and well researched, it gave me an exact guide as to how to be with them.

Given that this was Alice’s first birth, I was expecting her to give birth later in July. When she messaged me that things were happening from 1.30am on that Wednesday morning though, at 39 + 3 weeks, I knew we were on. I went about my day, preparing some meals for my family and also for her. I had flicked on the sauna while my children were out at the cinema with their grandpa and as I sat there, Alice messaged me that her waters had just broken and she would like me to be there.

When I am preparing to attend a birth I like to go in empty, I like to be 100% present and willing/able to be a vessel for the birthing experience. I try to eat a little, make sure I have practiced yoga, meditated and feel amazing (as I expect my clients to do). I always journal before and afterwards, ensuring I attend each birth as a guide, without judgement and in my goddess energy/power.

I drove to Alice and Donny’s home (1hr away) listening to music that made me feel pure joy, I knew my own family was cared for, that I could focus on Alice without distraction. When I arrived Alice cried and I enquired as to her emotional state, she simply stated that she was relieved that I was with her. She was making jokes in between contractions at 3pm and making the most gorgeous sounds whilst her surges rolled over her. I asked if she was a singer (a real-life triple threat!) and when she nodded I told her that she would sing her baby into this world.

There was less time in between her surges within an hour and Donny was busy filling the tub and attending to each surge (who says men cannot multitask?!) whilst I alternated between essential oil duty, helping with the tub, providing constant reassurance to Alice that she was doing an amazing job and just witnessing her in her experience. I suggested that before Bron arrived, Donny have some skin on skin time with Alice to continue those loving vibrations and help Alice feel into their relationship for the last time as a duo. After about 30minutes of this, the midwives arrived.

Homebirthing Independent Midwives are honestly angels. They assessed the environment and met Alice exactly where she was, they were quite hands off, assuring Alice that she was doing a fabulous job of this and holding space without changing the dynamic of the birth space (a skill I don’t see often in a hospital setting). Alice was able to hop into the birth pool and the intensity of her surges increased with some more space between them, she was relaxing with her eyes closed and softening in between each wave, and during the peak she was gripping mine and Donny’s hands and anchoring herself into it. The birthing sounds started to change and we could all sense that it was almost time.

It was a challenge to keep the water temperature (something I vaguely recall from my own homebirths) and Alice discovered that she did not want to be on her back! As the time drew closer, I was kneeling beside Alice and I had this moment of channelling all the birthing women past and present, summoning all of our strength just for her.

Alice panted her baby’s head out and with the next wave she sang low and his body entered the water, Bron guided him into Alice’s arms as he was looking up at her. It was magic, euphoric, and celebratory.

It was the birth baby Presley had wanted, the birth Alice and Donny had envisioned, just a straightforward calm and powerful homebirth.

Each year when I celebrate my eldest son’s birthday I am reminded of my purpose and why I now offer my full support and love to women as they become mothers, why I coach women through pregnancy and the post partum period to be their healthiest and happiest selves, why I honour women as they are, as they come.

River turned NINE yesterday, his birth radically changing my life. From his conception I began to change, I became super conscious about true health and wellbeing, I became far more environmentally conscious, I realised that my life would no longer be a selfish pursuit. I would lay my life down for the baby growing in my womb.

I did all the right things, hypnobirthing and lots of chiropractic care and healing. Everything I requested and bought was organic. I planned to cloth nappy and wear my baby. I did not at all plan on co sleeping nor the extent of my crunchy ways.

Being me, I worked up until the Thursday in my 39th week. I had the Friday off work and felt myself start prelabour. It was so exciting. But I couldn’t sleep much with regular contractions, even if they were 8-10minutes apart. Saturday was interesting, I walked a lot, cried a lot, and I also threw up a few times. Once more I couldn’t sleep. On Sunday we called the hospital as I was exhausted already and they told me to have panadol and stay home. On Monday was River’s due date and we had an appointment at 10am. By this stage my contractions were quite powerful and the car was an awful journey. The midwife we saw did not believe I was in active labour (and I believed in my hypnobirthing calm powers) until she put a monitor on me and performed an internal exam (one of about a million). My labour of course stalled due to the change of scenery, the dismissive attitude of the midwife, the internal exam amongst my own mental chatter. Within 4hours I had only progressed 1cm and though my contractions were powerful they were useless. The midwives broke my waters. A few hours later with minimal “progress” a catheter was inserted and as I was dehydrated from throwing up, a drip was attached to me. I was told I could not have the water birth I envisaged. Truly I think at this point I gave up. This is why birth support is VITAL. True support and advocacy would have meant that the cathetar was removed once my bladder was empty, I could have eaten and chugged magnesium/water/honey/powerade rather than a drip. True support and consent would have meant I was told before intervention that I could not have a water birth. True support and care would have someone on my side, believing in me. During my pregnancy I would have learned about Optimal Foetal Positioning and that if my baby is posterior, a lengthy pre labour would be “normal and expected” for baby to move into the right position.

After 14hours in the hospital and a total of 62hours of contractions, I had an “emergency cesarean” due to my “failure to progress”.

I loved my baby with all my heart and had no issues connecting to him immediately, but I was so sad, so disappointed in myself, I felt like I had failed my first step into motherhood.

How could I stand by and let women be treated like that? How could I let babies be born to depressed mother’s? When we fail, we learn, and I learnt I had the power within me to birth without intervention, coertion, according to someone else’s agenda and that my baby and I could work together. I didn’t know it just then, but after my second home birth, I had learnt the power to help women achieve a birthing experience that created a great foundation for motherhood.

It has almost been an entire year since I have posted a blog. I tried writing a few weeks in advance and then posting them sequentially…but as with everything in my life I am far too emotionally invested and it felt inauthentic to write and share this way.

Since my book proposal did not win the HayHouse writers competition I guess I have felt like my message was unimportant. There is so much noise today on social media, google, other media channels, books etc that I felt drowned out. I’ve been blogging for NINE years and it has never made money or gone further than my local community. I realise now that I needed space to redefine my message, to acknowlege my gifts and to focus on how exactly I can best serve my audience.

I am not the most educated or intelligent, innovative, unique or loudest mumma. What I am is huge hearted, eco/environmentally conscious, humble and hard working. My life has been a series of lessons and traumas that have led me to be passionate, open minded and loving, that have given me the ability to sit with my pain and to heal myself (this is never really complete), that has led me to carve my own path and follow my own heart.

Many, many, many times of hitting rock bottom has led me to here…this new beginning, mumma in the middle, woman trying to make her way in this world.

Feel free to share how I can help YOU, babe. I plan on delivering nutritional recommendations (so many people ask for my help in moving towards plant based), my doula wisdom, training/movement, and all of my musings on mummahood. You will not see anything about counting calories or macros, fertility, medical advice or body shaming, as these are not my areas of expertise ;)

Hello beautiful readers, if you have been following my journey over the eight years of me blogging you will be familiar with my dread of the cold months. For those new to my blog, I have suffered Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) for as long as I can remember. This makes me prone to depression in Winter. Light Therapy has helped in the past, though the solarium was far better for treating me. I have also tried taking zinc and vitamin D, and I try to travel every winter to chase the sunshine.

At the start of this year we made a pretty radical decision to relocate our family to Byron Bay, and just in case our lives weren’t busy enough, operate yet another CrossFit box ;) may this beautiful place be the remedy for my soul!

So far, there was plenty of sunshine this morning and the beach had our name on it for most of the day. We woke early, went to the box, I had a solid lifting session before coaching, had some rad hangs with a beautiful new friend (I made us delicious brunch), walked to the beach to meet up with more friends, and now we are at home painting, playing with playdough and sipping Tulsi tea.

The kids have so far today eaten; oats with PB & protein, a slice of PB toast, an apple, vegan sausage rolls or left over pasta with 1/2 cup of my tofu scramble, hummus with celery and carrot, a kiwi fruit and orange and we are planning on eating dinner out as truthfully I’m a bit sick of cooking.

Today I have eaten tofu scramble with cherry tomatoes, spinach, kelp noodles, avocado, saurkraut, hemp seeds, linseeds and nooch then some hummus with celery. I have also had two coffees, a cup of tea and one medjool date with PB.

I’ll have to grab some fresh ingredients from the Farmers market tomorrow and know that we’ll be having delicious vegan ravioli for dinner. It’s always a challenge when Eric is away, but nice to get into our own routine (and its easier to cook for four than five!).

River has school camp this Thursday, he’s really excited and is mostly doing really well since moving here. There has been quite a bit of drama over his birthday gifts, and him not wanting to share anything with his siblings. This is super triggering for me and also upsetting as I want my children to grow up knowing the value of presence over presents and obviously kindness. I don’t want to force him to share, and I don’t want him to feel as though he is entitled to more.

Raine has lost four teeth within three weeks - sending the tooth fairy broke! She is loving yoga and training, is the most receptive of all the children to meditation, and is also going through some massive emotions. She is definitely like me in that she is a deep feeler whom takes on the emotions around her, so I have to watch my stress levels and expression of sadness around her. Just yesterday I was doing some hip health movements in the mirror and turned to check out my shape, all along Raine was copying me and it really made me pause. I would be heart broken if Raine ever spoke to herself the way my inner dialogue has been.

Mummas, even when we don’t verbalise the way we feel about our bodies, our children KNOW. I have mentioned previously that I have struggled with an eating disorder, and that my pregnancy with River was the key to my recovery. I have not spoken about the resurgence of the eating disorder last year and that my self esteem was at rock bottom again. Thankfully, my husband was the safe space needed to help me come back to myself. Even though my body is not always reflecting the way I want it to look and my self esteem hasn’t fully recovered, I have consistently felt my feelings and attempted to work through it. At times I’ve had too much to drink, at times I’ve stopped writing, at times I’ve lost myself in a book or scrolling on social media (watching fail videos or dance videos), but for the most part I’ve sat with it and tried to love myself anyway. The way to a “better body” is not found in a diet or exercise regime, the way to a “better body” is through loving yourself. Loving yourself despite eating ALL the french fries, forgiving yourself for drinking too much or making a poor decision (trust me, we all make mistakes!), loving the woman you are in this moment as well as loving the woman that you want to become.

Reefy has been delightful, and horrible and gorgeous again…those wonderful hormones causing outrage and ridiculous scenarios where it is impossible to win. We used to remind ourselves that “big emotions need big hugs, not big consequences” when Rivvy was going through the same thing but often even a cuddle cant reason with our Chief’s will.

When raising children, we need to step back. We need to demonstrate boundaries, how to deal with our emotions in a healthy way, that it’s perfectly ok to feel emotions, that we as parents are a safe space for them, that the way to feel better is always love. We can love each other and ourselves through anything.

Having children gave me a sense of responsibility I’d never felt before. I never cared much for living, I didn’t see the point as I had no idea who I was or who I was supposed to be, only that I was different. I thought different was wrong. Now that I have my children, I want them to know in every single cell that they are wanted, that they are worthy of love, that they can do anything if they work hard and are kind, that they deserve happiness and that I feel blessed that they literally changed me and my life. Becoming a mother has given me a sense of responsibility to our mother earth and also to myself.

Last week I felt as though I could not possibly write my book, I’ve felt this year really unclear on what my mission and vision are, on what my message is. I’ve not felt like I had anything to say worth hearing or reading. But then I realised that its not about me. It’s not about my worth. It’s about me having a unique set of experiences that have led me to be a guide for a woman’s wellbeing through the desire to fall pregnant, a beautiful birth experience and an intentional way of parenting. The reason for me to speak up, to heal, to do the work is my children. When we heal ourselves, we help heal all women.

The following statistics are startling. Of the 309,000 Australian births in 2015:

• 97% were in a hospital

• 50% involved a spontaneous labour

• 67% of babies were born by vaginal delivery

• 33% of babies were born by caesarean section

• 85% of mothers who had had a previous caesarean section had a repeat caesarean section

Since 1985, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has recommended a population caesarean section rate of 10–15% to ensure mortality rates are kept low for mothers and babies (RHR 2015). In 2014, Australia had the eighth highest caesarean section rate of 33 countries, with a caesarean rate of 34 per 100 live births. Factors related to mothers being more likely to have a caesarean section were:

• having had a previous caesarean section (23%)

• maternal age of 40 or more (52%)

• mothers who had a multiple birth (69% of twins and 88% of other multiples)

• mothers whose babies were breech, where the baby exits buttocks or feet first (87%)

• women who gave birth in a private hospital were also more likely to have a caesarean section (45%) than women who gave birth in a public hospital (30%)

Maternal drug use in labour has been linked to drug abuse later in the child’s life and a traumatic birth has been linked to suicide in young adults born in this way. Postnatal depression is linked to both drug use during labour and a traumatic birth experience.

Preparation

When exploring becoming a mother it is essential to learn about your own story, beliefs and attitudes, and the underlying fears behind these for us and in society. Questions you may like to explore include;

• what were the details of your own birth?

• how do the women in your family give birth?

• what beliefs about birth have you accumulated in your life?

• what does your culture, local community, partner believe about birth?

• what do you believe?

During pregnancy our body sends us messages from our innate body wisdom. This is so we can heal them as we prepare for birth and motherhood. One of the best ways of recieving these messages and connecting with our baby is to meditate and journal. I really loved these questions for journalling and discussing with your partner:

• how do I feel about being a woman?

• how do I feel about the appearance of my pregnant body?

• how do I feel about being naked in front of others?

• how do I feel about my vagina and vulva stretching so far open to give birth?

• how do I feel about the possibility of my vagina, vulva or perineum tearing?

• how do I feel about urinating or defecating in front of others?

• how do I feel about my birth team looking at my vulva?

• am I concerned about the appearance of my vulva or vagina or my body after giving birth?

• are there any patterns, stories or themes in my sexual relationships (past and present) that may come up during my birth experience?

• how do I feel about having sex during pregnancy?

• do I need to acknowledge, heal or let go of any stories or experiences?

• how do i feel about breastfeeding? about breastfeeding a boy? a girl?

My recommendations are:

Raspberry Leaf and alfalfa tea from 32 weeks

EPO from 36 weeks - insert from 38 weeks

Perineum massage 10mins daily from 34weeks

You need to nourish your body in the lead up to your birth, you need to nourish your body during labour. I strongly recommend a plant based diet that looks a little bit like this;

Wake up - warm lemon water with a probiotic supplement

Breakfast - smoothie and a piece of avocado toast

Snack - carrot and celery with hummus

Lunch - Buddha bowl with 1/2-1cup rice or quinoa

Snack - two dates with peanut butter

Dinner - Broth or soup

I encourage all women to walk every single day for a minimum of 30minutes. You should perform three lots of cat-cow for 20minutes each time and at least five minutes of legs up the wall before bed. You should stretch your hips and shoulders as well as strengthen your wrists in preparation of birthing your baby. No one just rocks up and completes a marathon, similarly, a beautiful birth takes preparation.

Labour and birth

The best place for a woman to give birth is where she feels the safest.

Do not go into labour with fear. There is nothing to fear. Every single woman is capable of having a beautiful birth and your birth team should be 100% committed to helping you achieve this.

If you prefer to give birth in a hospital then continuity of care with a known midwife and doula throughout pregnancy, labour and birth, and into the postpartum period has been demonstrated to have the best outcomes for mumma, baby and family.

An Estimated Due Date (EDD) is an average, NOT an expiration date. Your baby’s birthday is decided by your baby, and it is still unknown what actually initiates labour physiologically. However, medical intervention and an obsession with EDD has meant that HALF of all births in Australia are induced.

Our culture is not one that tolerates pain. Pain medication is a huge market as we are just not willing to feel it. Pain is a subjective emotional experience; we psychologically interpret physical sensations as being painful. Pain is increased when ignorance, fear, insecurity, dehydration and/or fatigue are present.

For many women, labour pain is the most pain they will or have experienced. I love encouraging women to exercise before and during pregnancy, so that they can liken the uterine contractions to any muscle contraction. Pain during labour is also associated with the dilation of the cervix and the pressure of the baby’s descent on the cervix and ligaments, bones, tendons and muscles around the pelvis.

The purpose of this pain is to gain our attention and bring our focus to it. During labour, pain becomes the gateway to a deeper consciousness. It is also mitigated by the hormones we produce (when labour is not interfered with).

All of the drugs we can take to numb ourselves to the pain of labour and birth affect your baby and affect the normal physiological processes required for the newborn to adapt to life. It is a woman’s responsibility to understand the pro’s and con’s of all birth related practices so she can make appropriate choices for herself and her baby.

Relaxation of the labouring woman’s body is critical for natural pain management. In my experience, warm water, warm compress on the lower back and massage have been helpful in managing labour without drugs. Deep focus, as practiced during meditation and visualisation, will help and feeling safe are also vital. You do not need to escape this pain, embrace it. Each strong contraction you have brings you closer to your baby. You need to head towards your birth with a solid belief that you can do this. Trust the birth process. Trust your body. Trust your baby.

The best snacks for during labour are miso soup, veggies and rice, broth, almonds (tamari almonds are my fave), lactation cookies (I LOVE Franjo’s), smoothies, crackers with saurkraut and avocado, apple with peanut butter and cinnamon, vegemite toast, herbal tea, water, vitamin c and perhaps even a delicious raw chocolate treat.

After Birth

Immediately after giving birth a mother and her baby require skin to skin contact, their hearts close together, which activates the baby’s senses and helps to stop the production of the adrenal/stress hormones baby and mother were producing during labour. The mother needs love, warmth, rest, sleep, food and water. The family need space to bond.

WHO recommend exclusive breastfeeding from birth to six months of age and from then, alongside food to at least two years of age. Statistics from the 2010 Australian National Infant Feeding Survey results indicate that 96% of mothers initiate breastfeeding. Thereafter, exclusive breastfeeding rates drop off. Just 39% of babies are still being exclusively breastfed to 3 months and just 15% to 5 months. Thereafter, statistics fromThe 2006-2007 Longitudinal Study of Australian Children study show that at 12 months, 28% of children were still being breastfed; at 18 months, 9% of children; and at 24 months, 5% were still being breastfed.

Please read the following as to why you should continue breastfeeding until your baby self weans:

https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/how-long-should-i-breastfeed-my-baby

https://www.medela.com.au/breastfeeding/mums-journey/breastfeeding-beyond-6-months

https://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/

If you enjoyed this blog post, you will love Jane Hardwicke Collins book Ten Moons, which I have paraphrased and thoroughly enjoyed. If you would like to enquire about my doula services from June 2019 please send me an email hello@themummamovement.com